Break by CD Reiss

Author:CD Reiss [Reiss, CD]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Flip City Media Inc
Published: 2016-02-23T06:00:00+00:00

33

FIONA

Why do you want to know?

I’ve been with Deacon a long time, and you never said anything about that. Was it because there was a connection with us? You and me?

I can’t see my own connections.

So?

So.

Debbie, are you going to answer my question?

We had to cross a fake cobblestone lane to get to the parking lot. I’d taken a cab. Deacon drove. So we had to exit and cross, and I didn’t even know if I wanted to go with him.

The paps waited outside in a pack. I’d be in the news with Deacon’s hand on my back. They didn’t faze him, no matter what they said. One time, early in our relationship, a pap had tried to get a rise out of him by calling me Deacon’s Famous Little Fucktoy.

I thought he’d fly off the handle, but he didn’t. He stared at the man, and the pap never came around again. After that, they didn’t say much to me when he was around, unless they were new. Another stare, and it was done.

We walked into the lot.

A valet approached, and Deacon waved him off. “I’ll get it myself.”

We took the stairs, as always. No elevator. No one handles the car but him.

So many little things.

Like the way he walked a little bit behind me. The way he opened a door slowly and didn’t go through right away, or the way he checked right then left before he let me walk through it first. The casual spot check of the car. The way he unlocked it from as far away as possible then locked it again so if it exploded, we were half a garage away.

I stopped and pressed my fingers to my eyelids. “I can’t do this.” My voice echoed in the empty concrete space.

“Then what?” he shouted.

He never shouted.

“I’m just using you. Don’t you see that?”

“What do you want?” His jaw tightened. He pointed the key at me as if he were going to unlock me remotely with a light-flashing beep.

“I want to be normal.”

“Jesus Christ. You might as well want to be taller. Normal wasn’t the hand you were dealt. You and I, we’re not normal. That’s not a choice we have.”

“I know. I…”

I stopped myself. Did I want to do this? Out here in the parking lot, with the sound of tires screeching around turns somewhere in the depths, did I want to do this? I’d done an incomplete job in my penthouse if he thought he could just show up.

“You were supposed to be away,” I said. “On the continent. Why did you stay?”

“Africa’s just one fucking crisis after another. But you? You’re broken, and if I’m not here to fix it, I’m responsible for what happens.”

“Okay, listen to me. You aren’t responsible for my shit. You know who’s responsible for that? Me. All me. I’ve been putting myself in stupid situations. I’ve been fucking crazy. And it’s my fault. Not yours. Everything that happens is my fault.” I took a deep breath. “That’s not true.

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